Deliverer


It’s been a weird break for me.

Okay so everything is a little weird for me, but still: this break has been weird. I wasn’t jumping for joy or anything when the time rolled around for me to go back home for a month and brave life lacking structure, my closest pals, most of my books, my mattress pad, and a coffee shop within walking distance. I’m very much a person that needs structure; without consistency I tend to…well, I tend to fall apart. I don’t like to “wing it,” as they say. I like planning. I like knowing what comes next.

And when I don’t know what comes next, I get all panicky and stressy and I lose my mind a little.

After having a pretty rough semester, I was looking forward to days and nights of Grey’s Anatomy, Quirky™ writing, lots of tea, and cuddling my furry companion, Sheldon (pictured below).

Sheldon Bartholomeow Sebastian, my pal

The first week of break wasn’t as I’d expected, but it worked for me. I like running errands and helping out when I can, however I can. But it wasn’t long before I hit a rut. After Christmas, I found I was having trouble sleeping, which isn’t an entirely knew thing for me—I’ve been dealing with my sleeping habits being complicated since I was a little kid. The difference this time was that I was losing sleep as a result of my anxiety, and it was more real to me now than it ever was before. So I’d do the practice-your-breathing-exercises that they teach you how to do in talk-therapy and normally, breathing does not help me cope with my anxiety, but it proved helpful in getting to sleep.

So dealing with my sleeping patterns has been a bit frustrating, and there’s the fact that I’ve hardly left the security of my room, and reading hasn’t been as successful as I’d predicted.

I’m currently reading Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes, which after I finish it, I’ll HAVE to put up some kind of book-review, because I’m loving it so far, and everyone should read it.

Anyway, back to QC. Yesterday, I was determined to make things different, and because my mom needed some things from the store, I grabbed the opportunity while it was dangling in front of me.

It was weird because something just felt, off, ya know? Like I couldn’t put my finger on it, but something just felt like it was out of place. I just turned my music up a little louder, and started to make my way to the store. It started to sprinkle a little bit on the way there, but it quit about halfway there.

It sort of felt like I was back in Colorado again because it was so incredibly clear, and then it started raining again! I was like, “hold UP, Ohio!” and as I was driving by the lake (that is, Tappan Lake), I glanced over at the water and saw this BEAUTIFEROUS sight. I told myself six times that I’d just take an “eye-photo” of it, but the seventh time around, it was like the Holy Spirit was inviting me to pull over and just rest.

If the Holy Spirit invites you somewhere, you can’t turn it down.

So, I drove to the nearest pull off point, and parked the car. I wasn’t in a rush, so I turned the music down, rolled the window down, and sat there just taking it in.

That’s where I snapped this lil guy

the picture does it literally no justice, (even with some honest editing).

It was beautiful. God was like, “hey, look what I did for you!”

And that’s when I felt like it was all gonna be okay.

I’ve been a little stressy with the lack of consistency, and I’ve got a few things to get done before I return to school, but that’s not without its own chaos.

I don’t know, but God knew I needed that image. He knew I needed to see Him in something yesterday. He reminded me that He is God, He is the One in charge, in control of all the things that I’m grasping for.

Sometimes it just feels like the things we stress over—money, love, happiness, family, etc—will swallow us up in a single gulp and we won’t be able to come back up. It begins to feel like we’re being pulled away under the current, and the water will envelop us in its waves—and no amount of swimming lessons could ever prepare us for the force behind the currents.

The cool thing about God is that He has the ability to reach down and pick us up and take us out of the waves.

Even when God wants us to swim in the waters, He has no intentions of letting us drown in them.

This is a new thing for me to grasp.

I wanna share with you some Bible verses that have reminded me of His ability to deliver us from the waters….and also the song that came on when I felt drawn to rest in Him.

song:

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,
    and he will make your paths straight.”

Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV

“You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world.”

1 John 4:4 NIV

“You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.”

Psalm 32:7 NIV

“I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.”

Psalm 34:4

He’s our deliverer.

I said to a friend early last week that I think it’s such a cool thing that we can approach God with all our junk and He doesn’t get intimidated by it, He doesn’t shove it aside, but instead, He picks us out of it and He helps us through it.

We serve a cool God. A Good God.


hi friends!! hope all is well! guess what?! we’ve got MERCH out on Redbubble!!! how cool is that? here’s the link to all the quirky merch, which one’s your favorite?

we’ve got t-shirts, stickers, THROW PILLOWS, and bags, and stickers, and journals, and I mean—just go check it out because there’s some quirky stuff over there and it’s lookin snazzy.

Categories: reflections

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