Everywhere I turn, students are rushing to classes they haven’t been to all semester; snow is falling and occasionally making friends with rain, mental breakdowns are being had—this can only mean one thing: finals are coming.
It’s hard to believe that this semester is finally coming to an end. It feels like it’s lasted forever with everything that has been going on in my life. I have to say that as difficult as this semester has been, I have learned a lot about life and about myself, and because of that, it’s a little bittersweet to see it come to an end.
Through every difficult moment this semester, I have learned many things about God and about myself. I’m not typically one to write poetry, but I’ve been finding myself writing some every now and then to put my feelings into words.
I haven’t been shy about saying that this semester was difficult for me; I think I’ve probably mentioned it in every blog post I’ve made since I started the school year. At the beginning of the semester, I promised to pick God, choose God, and love God—it was certainly one of my most Meredith Grey moments. I don’t regret saying that, in fact, I’m glad that this semester was difficult because it really did help me find God. I’ve always heard it said that God is with us when times are hard, but I’ve always kind of put that on a superficial level and applied it almost exclusively to situations like having cancer, or getting in a car accident, or losing a job. I never really knew what it was like to draw close to God when classes were difficult, or when I had to ask for forgiveness for being a total jerk, or when my sin fractured my relationships. I didn’t know what that was like until now. Which is why this semester was so pivotal in my relationship with God. I knew what it meant to lean on God when I was embarking on a journey of healing in the Rocky Mountains, but I didn’t know how to trust God when everything fell apart and it was quite literally my fault.
I feel closer to God than I did in Kent before, and I’ve learned how to pick Him out in situations, and I’ve seen Him influence my decisions.
I believe that I know what peace is now; between learning what it means to let go, the importance of change, and doing what I love—somehow I accessed that peace that passeth all understanding, ya know? And none of that would’ve been possible without the trials I experienced.
There’s a purpose in pain, my friends, this is what I’ve learned. God is there through it, laughing with you, crying with you, and holding you up when you’re falling down.
I won’t say I’m anymore a fan of change than I was when all of this started, but I’m not afraid of it anymore—and all because I know it brought me closer to God.
I’m hoping to write more about this after final’s week when I’m not as overworked. I’m so thankful for all of you beautiful, quirky Christians out there. You’re kind words and encouragement have helped me realize how special the little things are in life.
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort. We do not want you to be uninformed, brothers and sisters, about the troubles we experienced in the province of Asia. We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired of life itself.
I’m sorry for the short post, but I hope you enjoy the poem. As my favorite apostle (Paul) never forgets to say; grace and peace.2 Corinthian’s 1:3-8
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